Stage 6: The Life of Love
Last week I went to lunch with my neighbor. She is in her late 80s and tells the best stories. She was a teacher for decades and is still friends with the core group she taught with for at least 15 of those years.
She mentioned at lunch how one of these friends can no longer make it to church. Her health has declined, so she stays home instead. My neighbor, who still drives short distances, told me she thought she’d start taking breakfast treats to her friend once a month, and they could have church together.
Later as I was thinking back on her plans, I thought of the final stage in our faith formation journey - Stage 6: The Life of Love.
According to The Critical Journey, this stage is summed up as when we reflect God to others in the world more clearly and consistently than we ever thought possible.
My neighbor, sitting with her friend and eating a meal, is a lovely reflection of God.
Hagberg and Guelich write this about Stage 6: “Even though it may be very difficult for others to understand us at this stage, people can be uplifted in spirit just by being with us, whether in joys or hardships. We can live openly and vulnerably with others, because we do not need self-protection. Consequently, at this stage we are involved intimately in the lives of others to whom God calls us. In constant dialogue with God, our lives are permeated with unconditional love.”
When I had children, I began to form a fuller picture of unconditional love. My love for them was so deep, at times, it was painful. I wanted what was best for them. I wanted to protect them. I wanted them to know that my love wouldn’t waver.
And yet, my love for them is only a tiny glimmer of the love God offers each of us.
Hagberg and Guelich write, “At Stage 6 we can reach far beyond our own capacity and love our fellow human beings with deep compassion, because we know that all come from and are loved by God.”
Looking back at each of the stages we’ve talked about over the past month and a half; they are leading to this place of deep, compassionate love and the ability to view God’s creation as good and worthy of unconditional love.
This is not a small or easy task. This is the work of transformed hearts and minds. This doesn’t happen overnight. It happens over a lifetime.
The authors say that faith is:
Recognizing God
Learning about God
Working for God
Rediscovering God
Surrendering to God
Reflecting God
The first three stages and the second three stages seem to parallel each other.
Several weeks ago, we explored classical education and how ideas build upon each other over time. These stages of faith seem to mirror that idea.
In Stage 1, we recognize God for the first time. In Stage 4, we rediscover him. Over time we long to know God more deeply. Not that what we learned in the early days wasn’t good or true, though that is entirely possible, but often it’s that our capacity to know more also grows as we grow. Our ideas deepen. Our life experience causes the questions we ask to broaden. Our picture of who God is becomes more expansive.
In Stage 2, we learn about God. In Stage 5, we surrender to God. In reality, we spend our whole lives learning about God. God is like the cosmos - so big that we can never know all there is to know. And yet learning about God is not the same as surrendering to God. We need the acquired knowledge of who God is and what we can expect from God’s character to reach the place of deeper surrender that comes with time. And the truth is, there are ways that God will be inviting us to surrender throughout our lives.
In Stage 3, we work for God. In Stage 6, we reflect God. The ways that we show up, take care of one another, and lead look different over time. In the early days of following Jesus, we might inadvertently think that the more we do for God, the more God will love us. As we learn and grow, we understand that God’s love for us is not predicated on our work but is a grace given. We recognize that the gifts God has given us are meant to be used in various ways, and our ability to reflect God expands. As seasons in our lives change, so do the ways we show up. Over time our work moves from obligation to delight.
While this faith journey is linear in many ways, it is not linear in all ways. There is a progression forward as we learn and grow, and there is an ebb and flow in and out of the various stages throughout our lives.
The Critical Journey gives us a common language for discussing our faith formation. Your story, how you are shaped as a follower of Jesus, won’t be identical to mine. Yet, if we sat down and had a meal together to share our formation journey, we would find common ground.
In this series, we have predominantly looked at the ideas by Janet Hagberg and Robert Guelich in their book The Critical Journey. I’ve also referenced James Fowler’s Stages of Faith book, which is much more technical. Others have also written on this topic. Bill and Kristi Gaultiere wrote The Journey of the Soul, unpacking similar ideas but within the framework of Psalm 23. The Interior Castle from Teresa of Avila has also been recommended reading, though it is still in my to-be-read pile. And there are many other resources to consider.
These books are a mixture of research and observation, but they are still just a framework to consider. You might feel compelled to read more, or you might feel content with what you know. Either way, I would invite you to ask the Holy Spirit to help you see what is happening in your personal formation story and to consider if God is inviting you into a season of new growth.
God’s love is a deep well that never runs dry. May we each drink deeply, knowing that scarcity is never a concern, and may we reflect God’s love more brightly than we ever thought possible.
~ Melissa