Spiritual Direction

Nine months ago, I showed up for a weekend with 12 people, most of them complete strangers.  We were about to begin the journey of becoming spiritual directors.  We came from different church traditions, different walks of life, and different states.  And yet, with all our differences, we had a love for Jesus and a desire to learn to care more deeply for the people in our communities.  

This past weekend we completed our first year of a two-year training program.  In the past months, we’ve spent about 80 hours together in person, and who knows how many more hours reading books, writing assignments, and practicing spiritual direction.  

As we sat and reflected on this first year together, the overwhelming sentiment was that our group has come to feel like family.  It has proven to be an unexpected gift in each of our lives, and it is fair to say it will be something we will treasure all of our days.  

If you’ve ever thought of becoming a spiritual director, a new cohort begins in the fall.  Applications are due June 1, and there are currently a few open spots.  

Not everyone is familiar with spiritual direction, so I thought this would be a good time to share a bit more about it and how it might be helpful to you.  

The idea of spiritual direction is for two people to journey together - one creating space for the other to share parts of their story and explore a deeper connection with God.  Spiritual direction is not meant to be one person telling another person what to do.  Instead, it is a space where the Spirit of God is present and where the person sharing feels safe to grieve, ask hard questions, and celebrate, knowing that they have a companion who will sit with them and ask them good questions which will help point them back to Jesus over and over again.

There is a story in Exodus 18 that depicts this well.  
Moses’s father-in-law visits while the Israelites are camped in the wilderness.  Moses spends time with him and updates him on what has been going on.  Jethro celebrates with him all that God has done.  The next day Jethro observes Moses as he spends the entire day listening to the complaints of the people in the camp.  Jethro doesn’t say to Moses hey man, you’re doing this all wrong, but instead, he asks him some questions about why he is doing what he is doing, and then he encourages him to hear what God might say on the matter.  Moses realizes that Jethro's questions and advice are sound and makes the necessary changes.  Moses could hear from God just fine, but in this situation, he needed another set of eyes and ears to help him see a different perspective.  

I’ve been meeting with a spiritual director for a year now.  I wasn’t sure what to expect when I showed up for our first appointment.  We had spoken before I came, and she’d shared what our time together would look like, but I still had reservations.  

A year into the process, I am deeply thankful for our time together each month.  There is something sacred about the work we have done together and the way the Holy Spirit has moved in that space.  

Each time we meet, we light a candle, begin with a prayer or a Scripture, followed by silence, followed by whatever the Spirit brings to mind that day.  

This is a space where I can talk out loud about whatever is on my mind and a space where I can get curious about what God might be doing.  I, of course, can express this same curiosity at home on my couch, but sometimes it is nice to have another person weigh in on what I’m pondering as I follow the Holy Spirit in my life.  

Spiritual direction isn’t counseling.  It isn’t mentoring.  It isn’t coaching.  It isn’t discipleship.  All of these are good and helpful.  They just serve different purposes.  

Counseling focuses on the deep work of unpacking the past and working toward healing.  Mentoring is about sharing expertise and helping someone by showing them what has worked for you.  Coaching is about setting goals and gaining momentum as you move forward.  Discipleship is about apprenticing the way someone does something.  

Spiritual direction varies from these in that it is about a person’s journey with God, and a spiritual director offers another set of ears to hear how a person is noticing, or not noticing, God in a particular season of life.  Together the director and the directee listen to the Holy Spirit and pay attention to what might help deepen the directee’s walk with God.  

In “The Practice of Spiritual Direction, “ the authors write, “Spiritual direction is a helping relationship, but the help offered is more like that of a companion on a journey than of an expert who, before the journey begins, advises what roads to take and answers the traveler’s questions.  The companion tries to help the traveler read the maps, avoid dead ends, and watch out for potholes.” 

If you’ve wondered about spiritual direction and have more questions, or if you are interested in meeting with me, I’d love to talk with you.  

~  Melissa