Words
I am traveling this week so I've chosen to edit and share a previously written piece to
allow me time to be fully present with my family. Enjoy.
Have you ever had someone say to you -
calm down
get over it
you're making too big of a deal out of this
it was just a joke, don't get offended
don't take it personally
stop being a baby
don't cry
you're fine
Have you ever experienced a feeling and had another person tell you to stop feeling it or that it didn't matter? My guess is that at some point we've all been the recipient of some of these words, and at other times we've been the issuer of them or others like them.
Dismissive words can be painful and if you hear them enough they can begin to erode your ability to process your feelings in a healthy manner. Pretending everything is fine is not a healthy way to go through life. At some point, those feelings, like a dormant volcano, will erupt when you least expect them.
I think at times we want to rush people through their feelings because we find ourselves uncomfortable, or even inconvenienced, sitting with them as they process life. I don't always think our intentions are unkind, but I do think that we often aren't aware of the power of our words.
Our words matter. How we speak to our children matters. How we speak to our spouse matters. How we speak to our co-workers matters. How we speak to our roommate matters. How we speak to others on social media matters. How we speak to those who are hurting matters. Our words matter.
Over and over scripture reminds us of the power of our tongue.
Proverbs 15:4 "A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit."
Proverbs 18:19 "A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a citadel."
Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love her will eat of her fruit."
Proverbs 21:23 "He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles."
Luke 6:45 "The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks that which fills his heart."
Ephesians 4:29 "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."
It is evident that our tongue wields great power. How we speak to people and about people is significant. It is a reflection of what is in our hearts. Do our words create a safe space? Do our words reflect Jesus? Do our words leave others feeling whole and loved? Do our words create a path toward healing? Do our words offer grace?
There are no moments in history when our words don't matter, but this particular moment feels like an opportunity to use our words in a life-giving way in our homes and in our communities. This practice requires us to slow down, think before we write or speak, and pay attention to how both our spoken and written words impact others. May our words be salt and light to all we engage with this week.
~Melissa