Jesus Loves You

I grew up going to church with my family.  My parents were involved in each of the churches we attended, and I have fond memories from those years.  I can picture each building in my mind and remember feeling at home in each space.  I could recount for you any number of epic Harvest Festivals and Vacation Bible Schools.  And while there were so many good and beautiful things that came from attending these churches, there were also some teachings I eventually had to unravel.

Most of the time, I am a rule follower.  If you give me specific directions about the way something should be done, then I’m most likely going to do it that way.  This was especially true when I was younger.  Growing up in church, the message the leaders often communicated to me as a child and as a teenager was that Jesus loves you but to be a good Christian, you need to check off all the items on your to-do list.  Read your Bible.  Check.  Pray.  Check.  Go to Church.  Check.  Tell others about Jesus.  Check.  Don’t smoke. Check.  Don’t drink alcohol. Check.  And on the list went.  

I remember being worried that I wasn’t doing a good enough job, and that Jesus was going to be mad at me if I made any mistakes.  I remember thinking maybe if I read my Bible more, then Jesus will love me more.  

It wasn’t until I was seventeen that I began to fully understand the depth of God’s love for me.  He didn’t love my to-do list.  He loved me.  He was delighted in me.  There was a shift that took place in me when I was able to understand what it could look like to have a relationship with Jesus and not just check items off a to-do list. 

What I came to understand was that reading my Bible, praying, and being in community were all tools to help me grow in my relationship with Jesus.  But those tools wouldn’t change how much Jesus loved me.  His love for me has always been the same; it is unconditional and there is not one thing I can do to increase how much he loves me.  Not one thing.  

But, what those tools do is help me to deepen my love for Jesus.  The more I get to know him the more I love him, and the more I understand his magnitude.  

In Prince Caspian, C.S. Lewis writes of Lucy meeting Aslan again after not seeing him for a time -  

“Welcome, child,” he said.

“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you’re bigger.” 

“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.

“Not because you are?”

“I am not.  But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.” 

Every time I read this book, these words catch my breath and make me pause.  These words are so true of our walk with Jesus.  Every year that we grow, we will find him bigger.  Every storm we weather, we will find him stronger.  Not because he has changed, but because we have changed.  

If you find yourself believing that your walk with Jesus is a to-do list, then I would challenge you to unravel that idea.  Why do you feel that way?  Is it what you’ve grown up believing?  Do you know you are deeply loved at all times or are you still trying to earn that love?  

It is my sincerest hope that as we begin to unpack various formation tools you will see them as such.  My hope is that you would not adopt any of these practices with the expectation that Jesus will love you more for doing them, but that rather you would consider each of these tools and unpack how they might help you to grow in your love for Jesus.  

~ Melissa