Emotional Regulation

Last Tuesday, I was sitting at the kitchen table finishing a project and heard my son say from the living room, “Hey, Mom, the floor is really wet!” 

I immediately stopped what I was doing and went to investigate.  

In the 18 years we have lived in this house, this is the third time that this part of our living room has had water where there should be none. The wall in our living room backs up to the wall in the garage, where the water tank is housed, and unfortunately, at times, this means water has made its way inside.  

In our early days of living here, there was an issue with the garage drain being clogged, which caused water to slowly come inside. Three years ago, our water tank broke, suddenly causing a steady stream of water. And now this. 

When I walked into the living room and stepped onto the carpet, I knew it was bad. It was like when you go to the beach and stand in the sand after the tide has come in. The sand is wet, and your feet sink into it, and water squishes out of the sand as you walk on it. That was happening but in my living room.  

I went to the garage to look in the closet and see what might be causing the leak, but there wasn’t an obvious problem. I called the plumber to see if they could come out right away, and then I called my husband to let him know what was happening.  

When I went back inside, my son had moved most of the furniture and items that had been sitting in the water. He was waiting for me to move the desk, which required both of us, but I needed a minute to regroup.  

In a matter of moments, my plans for the day were halted. This situation became a top priority, as it needed my immediate attention.  

As much of a hassle as all of this was, I was more concerned about what I was noticing in my body.  

As I got into my car and headed to Home Depot to rent a couple of fans to dry out the room, I could feel the anxiety rising in my body. I also noticed that I was angry. In the past, I might have ignored how I was feeling, but on this day, I took the time to get curious and explore why this was how my body was responding to something completely out of my control.  

Why was I angry? Why did I feel anxious?  

I realized straight away that I was anxious because this was going to be a huge inconvenience. I didn’t know yet how much it was going to cost, but I did know that it was going to change my plans for days to come.  

The anger piece took a bit longer to figure out. I realized I was angry about needing to spend money on another water repair, and I was angry thinking that the water tank, which was barely three years old, could be broken and causing this damage. Internally, I was having a whole discourse about shoddy products and jumping to all kinds of conclusions.  

While driving home with the fans, I thought about how the anger caught me off guard. Some part of my body and brain felt this situation was an injustice. It jumped to a place of wanting answers and solutions.  

As I talked with the Holy Spirit about this auto-response in my body, I was reminded of how I keep learning new things about myself. I felt thankful that I could pause and name what was happening inside of me. I acknowledged the anger and then let it dissipate, allowing me to go home and meet the plumbers, hear the prognosis, and respond with kindness, not anger.  

The plumbers found the leak. It wasn’t the water tank. It was the copper pipe that brought water from the city water line into the tank. It had corroded and formed a pinhole leak, spewing water all over.

The plumbers had to cut a hole in the garage wall to expose the leaking pipe and do the repair. My husband came home early from work and began sucking gallons of water out of the carpet before determining the carpet wasn’t salvageable and cutting out a 10-foot section of carpet and padding. Fans were set up to dry out the living room and the garage.  

As you can imagine our house is in disarray. There is displaced furniture everywhere, and now we need new floors. It is costly and inconvenient.  

Despite all of that, I feel thankful that I paused to listen to my body. I could have ignored what I was feeling, allowing it to simmer until it erupted out of me, either in unkind words or actions. But instead, I took the time to say woah, what is happening - why do I feel this way?  

Paying attention to the alarm bells in my body allowed me to recalibrate and engage in what was happening around me without regret.  

I wonder, how have you paid attention to what is happening in your body and allowed the Holy Spirit to meet you in that space as you investigated it together?  

~  Melissa