Community

When you hear the word community, what comes to mind?  Does it fill you will joy and longing?  Does it make you cringe?  Do you envision community as a place of hope, or does it stir up disappointment?  Or maybe it is a combination of all of these things?  

Let’s be honest, community is vulnerable.  In choosing to be in relationship with other people we are taking a risk of getting hurt.  In Dare to Lead, Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing.  It’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.” 

I have had some amazing experiences in community, and I’ve had some experiences that brought me to my knees with grief.  Any time I share a part of myself or my story with others it feels risky to me.  What will happen?  How will others respond?  Will I be accepted and welcomed, or will I feel like an outsider?  I have a natural tendency to want to protect myself from any pain that might come from showing up in these spaces, but I am learning to show up anyway - knowing I can’t control the result.

In Ready to Rise, Jo Saxton says, “The state of your heart affects your grit for the journey, so it’s no wonder you’re advised to guard your heart; the stakes are high.  Still, to guard it is not a call to isolationism, nor an excuse for emotional distance or lack of transparency.  On the contrary, it’s a call to be proactive about those things that shape who you are, such as your character, experiences, and wounds.”

Our wounds can cause us to want to isolate.  We may think it is less dangerous to go about our days alone, not relying on anyone else.  Yet, that is not what God calls us to.  God created us for community.  All community forms us in some way.  The question is, how is the community where you are showing up forming you?  There are times when the community you are invested in is actually not a safe place and you need to walk away, but in cases where it is safe to stay, you may discover that choosing not to distance yourself emotionally and choosing to be transparent, even though both are risky, can result in the formation of rich friendships, as well as deep, healthy, spiritual formation.  

In Philippians 2, Paul is encouraging the Philippians to be like Christ as they live together in community.  In verses 3-4 he writes, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” 

In 1 Corinthians 12:4-7, he writes, “There are different types of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit; there are different types of service, but the same Lord; and there are different types of activity, but it is the same God who operates all of them in everyone.  The point of the Spirit being revealed in each one is so that all may benefit.”

What if the way we show up in community looks like these verses from Paul?  What if we set aside selfishness and pride?  What if we take a step back and consider others?  What if we acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers and that God gave us community so that we could learn and grow from each other?  What if we valued all of the gifts from the Holy Spirit equally, and allowed all of the voices room at the table?  

We are going to continue talking about community for the rest of November.  This week I want to encourage you to make a list of the communities you are a part of - church, family, your job, your neighborhood, book club, online groups, whatever it is - and to consider how you show up in those communities.  Do you feel free to show up as your full self in those spaces?  Are you willing to be vulnerable knowing that you can’t control the outcome?  Is every community on your list one where you feel safe and seen?  What have you been holding back?  

And finally, I want you to consider - How are the communities in your life forming you, and how is your involvement in those communities helping to form others?  

~  Melissa